I frequently meet new people due to the nature of my work. I love the uniqueness in them and how they are utilizing it to explore themselves, relationships, the world, and in some cases, to get by. Being unique does come handy most of the time.
When I think about uniqueness, two factors come to mind; the physical and mental parts.
1.The physical parts: their size, shape, color of eyes, type of hair, color of skin, the accent, the softness/harshness of voice, the speed of their movements/actions, and how they sit/stand, overall gestures.
2.The mental part: how they perceive the world, relate with others including nature, level of their self-awareness, especially their strengths and weaknesses. And that whether they know how they are using it to be a better human being, or not and then why not?
I have also come across many people who I feel are real gems but are stuck mentally in different developmental stage of their lives than where they should be, looking at their chronological stage. Living in this situation leads to internal and external chaos resulting in lack of clarity and overall stress.
Conflict between Mental and Chronological stage
From the people who were able to share their history, it gave me an insight that in any development stage where they went through a simple or multi-dimensional trauma and they didn’t receive any help on time, they got mentally stuck in that developmental state but kept growing chronologically.
I had heard about “feeling stuck” among friends, families, and colleagues many times but people usually stop their thoughts to this conclusion and keep on piling on stuff that life throws at them. From there on they start living superficially, and sooner or later it becomes their life style. Therapy helps, big time!
Mindfulness for crisis recovery
While actively using Mindfulness in sessions, I realized that it helps to empower the clients to be aware that on a subconscious or unconscious level, they are splitting between these mental and chronological stages. Recognizing this true nature of chaos helped many of my clients. They used this awareness, along with therapy to slowly raise themselves by keeping a reality check on their thoughts and behaviors.
It means to be able to recognize that in a particular situation, which mental stage they are operating from, especially if they are in crisis. As most of us know, we have a natural tendency to regress in crisis. Sometimes we are able to recover and sometimes we don’t.
In other words, this level of self-awareness with the help of Mindfulness may help anyone to be the adult that they claim to be!