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Suruchi Saini, MA, LPC, CCTP, TMHP, CYT

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Interpersonal Skills

July 26, 2015 By Suruchi Saini

Anger Management with Mindfulness

Suruchi Saini, MA, LPC, NCC, CCTPWhat is Anger?

First, let’s understand what is Anger. Anger is considered one of the primary emotions along with Happiness, Fear, Love, and Sadness. Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility. As human beings, we will feel this emotion every now and then just like any other emotion. Its a common problem among us no matter who we are, and which developmental stage of life we are in. Few reasons that make us angry are:

  • unable to express ourselves
  • can’t stand up for ourselves
  • can’t say “No” appropriately
  • feel defeated
  • feel insufficient
  • feel rejected
  • feel disrespected

It is important to understand the three ways that we manifest anger before we learn to manage it with the help of Mindfulness:

  1. Physical expression:  muscles tensing, racing  heart, having high blood pressure, and breathing heavily
  2. Cognitive expression: Perceiving and thinking about our experiences in inappropriate ways, feeling of unfairness or that wrong was done to us (“I deserved better”)
  3. Behavioral expression: Slamming doors, clenching fists, raising our voice, or any other threatening gesture

There is nothing wrong with feeling angry due to a real or perceived negative action of others, after all it is a primary emotion. However, the inability to recognize anger and manage it appropriately (response vs reaction) is unacceptable. This emotion surfaces whenever there is a trigger in our surrounding. We have to figure out a way to recognize these triggers (and their root causes). Mindfulness can surely help!!

Mindfulness

Do you ever wonder how certain individuals remain calm or in control? I can tell you that those people have been practicing Mindfulness as a tool to respond to their triggers along with other coping skills. They have also made mindful efforts to build their self-esteem. We can do that as well!

Practicing mindfulness is being aware of ourselves, our surroundings and others; it’s one of the best tools to keep calm and stay in control. Read more about Mindfulness in my previous blog.

Being mindful we understand the difference between our reaction or response to any trigger. An example of a response, when angry instead of flipping out or harming ourselves or others, we can remove ourselves from the situation or/and  talk to a reliable person. We feel better while venting and eventually can focus on our problems, dissect them, and find solutions. On the other hand, when we mindlessly react, we loose control on ourselves and eventually the situation makes us angrier. Many cases of accidents, road rage, crime, abuse, or violence are result of mismanaged anger. We can manage it by practicing Mindfulness in our daily lives.

Mindfulness helps us get in touch with ourselves and recognizing that we may not be managing the emotion of anger. If you have already recognized it then you will want to know what are the triggers causing anger. Once you are clear, start working on yourself Mindfully. Look for antidotes for your triggers, reach out for help, and practice mindfulness by slowing down; observing; meditating and remembering to use coping skills until they become your habit.

Feel free to email me if you have any questions or comments.

 

Filed Under: Anger Management, Articles, Mindfulness Tagged With: Anger Management, Interpersonal Skills, Mindfulness

June 28, 2015 By Suruchi Saini

Interpersonal Skills with Mindfulness

Suruchi Saini, MA, LPC, NCC, CCTP

Interpersonal skills (IS) is an art form where you learn how to get along with others whether you are at work, school, home, or with friends. Some people can naturally get along with others and the rest can learn with some support and practice. It is important to be aware of yourself and your surroundings to be able to use your IS appropriately.

That’s where Mindfulness comes in handy! Let’s take a quick look at few benefits of IS.

Benefits of Interpersonal Skills (IS)

The benefits of Interpersonal Skills (IS) will make you do the following:

  • Feel comfortable to express your feelings, beliefs, and principles.
  • Present yourself verbally, mentally, and physically.
  • More open to give and receive compliments
  • Have better boundaries, especially the ability to say, “No” when needed
  • Easily resolve problems and have better ability to work with the consequences.
  • Respect yourself more. People around you take notice and will likely do the same.
  • Less fearful of making friends, meeting acquaintances, networking, facing interviews and above all seeking help when needed.
  • Improve relationships and provide the much needed support in  your personal as well as your professional lives.

Regular Practice of IS with Mindfulness

With Mindfulness, you’ll be able to recognize your feelings and of others especially in an unhealthy environment. Mindful IS helps you to be a good listener. I believe  that most of the people just want to be heard. If you genuinely listen to them, you will win them for good!

When you use IS mindfully, you have more chances to respond than to react, to stay in control and not get too stressed. You’ll be aware of your strengths and weaknesses which can support you to stay open- minded to learn and share at the same time. Mindfulness helps you to be assertive and teachers you when to appropriately use silence.

In other words, when we regularly practice Interpersonal Skills with Mindfulness, it doesn’t remain limited to “being a skill”; it becomes a habit which eventually becomes a way of life and second nature.

Start working on it and Re-discover yourself!

Want to brainstorm ideas or have questions? Contact me!

 

Filed Under: Articles, Mindfulness Tagged With: Interpersonal Skills, Mindfulness

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