Holistic Bonfire

Suruchi Saini, MA, LPC, CCTP, TMHP, CYT

Mental Health

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Our incomplete devotion?

Suruchi Saini, MA, LPC, NCC, CCTP

Does the word “devotion” exist in our minds only in relation with the higher-self or God? If so, I believe it is incomplete.

My Introduction to the Word “Devotion”

While growing up, I remember family, friends, and visitors talking about my father’s devotion to the cause in which he believed. Many people used the same word on the day he un-timely passed away, and even years after he was gone. That was my introduction to the word “devotion”.

As a child, I thought I simply loved my father’s love for me. But now I know that more than the love he had for me, I most loved his qualities of devotion and passion. After his death, I kept looking for people with similar qualities. Fortunately, while growing up in India and traveling to other countries, I was afforded opportunities to meet numerous people who were devoted: to their families, their work, their communities, social causes, science, arts, academia, medicine, and more. They continuously inspired me and helped me keep my father alive in my mind.

In the past few years, however, while working as a therapist and a speaker, I have been feeling that our devotion is subtly getting lost, especially to our relationships. On one hand, we intend to provide to our relationships more than what we can, which is admirable, but the relationships we have with our family members, our communities, and the larger cosmos seem to be losing depth. We are making visible progress in areas like technology, housing, cars, foods, etc., but we seem to be quietly getting depleted of qualities like devotion, authenticity, integrity, wellness, and morality.

I believe we need to slow down, self-reflect, and process where we stand in our relationships, understand our loss of devotion as individuals and as communities, and take steps to bring devotion back into our relationships.

We are capable of exhibiting devotion, but we need to access it more and mindfully direct it to our relationships. Can we do that?

 

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The (un)authenticity…

Suruchi Saini, MA, LPC, NCC, CCTP

We learned to learn but forgot to apply
We learned to compete but forgot to help
We learned to manage but forgot to lead
We learned to look outside but forgot to look within
We learned to look at people but forgot to look inside them
We learned to blame others but forgot to take responsibility
We learned to get upset but forgot to have compassion
We learned to watch TV but forgot to observe nature
We learned to act faster but forgot to slow down
We learned to build communities but forgot to hold hands
We learned to show confidence but forgot to be grateful
We learned not to feel emotions but forgot to be happy and/or sad
We learned to become the result but forgot to become the purpose
We learned to create wealth and forgot to enjoy good health

As we evolved, we made and learned many things over the years. We made progress in some areas but forgot for whom the progress was made – us

Let’s unlearn what is not natural and make authenticity/happiness our priority!!!

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How often do you use sense of touch to de-stress?

Deer

Today I am going to share about our fifth sense – “Sense of Touch”. Why our sense of touch works and how to use it to de-stress.

We have over 500,000 touch detectors and 200,000 temperature detectors which helps us to feel, and also make us aware of our existence. After birth, we learned about our surroundings and safety by the way we were held by adults around us, at least for the first few months (parents and grandparents pay attention). Later of course in school; college; work, we have to learn new (appropriate) ways to touch.

We naturally crave for a gentle touch! However due to our individualistic life styles and certain man made laws with (due respect), physical proximity among people seems to have decreased over the years. As a result, we have become habituated to not to be too close to people, even to our near and dear ones. Mostly we no longer notice other’s touch. We seem to have become numb.

How it works

Its reversible, to the point where we can feel the touch and also use this sense to de-stress ourselves in daily life.

When stressed and feeling low (even while having low BP), simply rub hands together for few minutes until they are warm, while breathing normally. Now we can use the touch of warm hands in two ways – a) by crossing them in front of our chest and hugging ourselves, or b) by gently pressing our hands on our face for few minutes with our eyes closed. However, if we are feeling anxious or having hyper/racing thoughts or high BP, we put our hands under cold water and then either hug ourselves and/or press hands on our face for few minutes with our eyes closed.

We may use hot or cold hands to help our dear ones – by gently hugging them; by holding their hands with a moderate grip; by putting hands on their shoulder (if they allow of course). Like I mentioned in the beginning, with a gentle touch we get the same feelings that we had after birth, the feeling comfort and our existence.

Few other ways of using sense of touch for comfort – touching soft toy, pet, holding a baby, flowers, plants, soft piece of cloth, clean sheets etc.

When we are less stressed our brain function improves; our bodies perform and appear better; our skin become radiant. Quality of our brain and body chemicals improve, and our energy/vibrations also change.

Don’t we want that? So let’s start paying attention to these five senses and start using them to de-stress ourselves and our loved ones!!

Feel free to write to me, I will be happy to answer your questions.

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~ Sense of taste ~

Sense of Taste

Would you agree that most of us eat our food in a rush these days without thinking about the consequences? If yes, then you may also agree that as a result, we seem to be losing touch with our sense of taste, in its authentic form. However it’s reversible and we can actually use this sense to relax; feel better by giving ourselves a break in between two tasks or precisely give our brain a pause in between a trigger and a response.

How it works
Have your favorite food handy around you when possible. Simply sit at a comfortable place, have your favorite food ready in front of you. Now first notice the color of the food; then its temperature; its texture; its aroma, and don’t forget to be grateful for it. Now put the food in your mouth and chew it slowly by letting it roll in different parts of your mouth. The whole idea is to pay attention to what you are eating; how you are eating, while cherishing the food and distracting from your stressor at the same time. Also, note the kind of feelings or thoughts emerge when you are eating. All these steps using sense of taste will help you to be more aware and relax for few minutes so that later you can be more attentive.

On a side note, I can’t stop myself from mentioning that let’s try our best to have something that we like and which is also healthy. When we eat something unhealthy, it makes us feel guilty later on. That’s definitely not the purpose of this exercise. Also, research shows that when we are stressed, we crave for sugar and fried food. Precisely, that is the time when we should avoid eating junk food because our body is already releasing stress hormones to protect us from any perceived or real threat or stress). When we eat unhealthy, it is double-trouble for our mind and body. We don’t need to stop eating all our favorite foods but we can always start replacing one unhealthy food item with something which is healthier and also tastes better. We have plenty of options these days!

Please be mindful of how it feels when we eat our favorite food and how to use the sense of taste to help us relax and feel better!!

Next Sunday, I’ll share about the sense of touch!

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~ Sense of Smell ~

Pink Flowers

If you think, it doesn’t work, think twice. We have over five million olfactory cells that we use to smell things and we take about 23,000 breaths per day. If we pay attention and use these cells to help us, especially when we are feeling overwhelmed or frustrated, we can really change our emotions and take charge of the situation.

Yoga Philosophy always teaches personal responsibility in taking care of ourselves as our duty. So going by that, figure out at least 3-4 different kinds of smells that you like which has calming or stimulating effects on your nerves. And just in case you are not aware of which smells you like and for which purpose, It’ time to do it now!!

Almost every material around us has smell. Just pick whatever engages your attention, whether plants, herbs, or other daily mundane items e.g.:

  • Flowers
  • Perfumes
  • Books (physical ones)
  • Masala Chai/Coffee
  • Mint gums
  • After-rain soil
  • Cheese
  • Fresh Ginger
  • Deserts or other food items
  • Fresh cut grass

Aromatherapy Oils – Lavender, Cinnamon, Lemon, Vanilla (OilyWisdom)

Take in the smell with a deep breath try to stay with that smell for a while. Note the kind of feelings the smell evokes in you and dig deeper in your mind to find out why. Do this at times you feel stressed or overwhelmed. Apart from making you feel pleasant, the smell will help you concentrate your mental energy. That experience could be an eye opener or life changing who knows!!

 

Caution – please don’t cheat yourself by thinking “I like this perfume because it is so expensive”. If we choose not be true to ourselves then how can we expect others to be genuine with us? I know that’s another discussion altogether, will write about it some other time J.

(According to Aromatherapy, we can start with just 2-3 scented oil bottles. We can put two drops on a clean paper and it’s ready to help you. Please make sure that you hold the paper about two inches away from your nose)

Next week I will write about sense of taste.