Holistic Bonfire

Suruchi Saini, MA, LPC, CCTP, TMHP, CYT

Relationships

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The (un)authenticity…

Suruchi Saini, MA, LPC, NCC, CCTP

We learned to learn but forgot to apply
We learned to compete but forgot to help
We learned to manage but forgot to lead
We learned to look outside but forgot to look within
We learned to look at people but forgot to look inside them
We learned to blame others but forgot to take responsibility
We learned to get upset but forgot to have compassion
We learned to watch TV but forgot to observe nature
We learned to act faster but forgot to slow down
We learned to build communities but forgot to hold hands
We learned to show confidence but forgot to be grateful
We learned not to feel emotions but forgot to be happy and/or sad
We learned to become the result but forgot to become the purpose
We learned to create wealth and forgot to enjoy good health

As we evolved, we made and learned many things over the years. We made progress in some areas but forgot for whom the progress was made – us

Let’s unlearn what is not natural and make authenticity/happiness our priority!!!

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How often do you use sense of touch to de-stress?

Deer

Today I am going to share about our fifth sense – “Sense of Touch”. Why our sense of touch works and how to use it to de-stress.

We have over 500,000 touch detectors and 200,000 temperature detectors which helps us to feel, and also make us aware of our existence. After birth, we learned about our surroundings and safety by the way we were held by adults around us, at least for the first few months (parents and grandparents pay attention). Later of course in school; college; work, we have to learn new (appropriate) ways to touch.

We naturally crave for a gentle touch! However due to our individualistic life styles and certain man made laws with (due respect), physical proximity among people seems to have decreased over the years. As a result, we have become habituated to not to be too close to people, even to our near and dear ones. Mostly we no longer notice other’s touch. We seem to have become numb.

How it works

Its reversible, to the point where we can feel the touch and also use this sense to de-stress ourselves in daily life.

When stressed and feeling low (even while having low BP), simply rub hands together for few minutes until they are warm, while breathing normally. Now we can use the touch of warm hands in two ways – a) by crossing them in front of our chest and hugging ourselves, or b) by gently pressing our hands on our face for few minutes with our eyes closed. However, if we are feeling anxious or having hyper/racing thoughts or high BP, we put our hands under cold water and then either hug ourselves and/or press hands on our face for few minutes with our eyes closed.

We may use hot or cold hands to help our dear ones – by gently hugging them; by holding their hands with a moderate grip; by putting hands on their shoulder (if they allow of course). Like I mentioned in the beginning, with a gentle touch we get the same feelings that we had after birth, the feeling comfort and our existence.

Few other ways of using sense of touch for comfort – touching soft toy, pet, holding a baby, flowers, plants, soft piece of cloth, clean sheets etc.

When we are less stressed our brain function improves; our bodies perform and appear better; our skin become radiant. Quality of our brain and body chemicals improve, and our energy/vibrations also change.

Don’t we want that? So let’s start paying attention to these five senses and start using them to de-stress ourselves and our loved ones!!

Feel free to write to me, I will be happy to answer your questions.

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Happiness & Craving for Love

Bliss

Craving for love could be a long journey, at times painful, especially if we don’t know how to love ourselves. But we still want to feel loved. In the process, we forget that each one of us have our own journey to complete, our own feelings; struggles; actions; thoughts; behaviors; choices and a very individualized way of connecting with the world.

In our daily lives, we look for love from family; friends and people in general in different ways and at different places. Few examples – appreciation at work; recognition in community; respect at home; a smile/nod from a stranger; a hug from a child; a kiss from a partner; a warm welcome from a pet after a workday; and the feeling of peace when surrounded with trees/water/stars and so on.

All of us have this simple need of love to be happy whether we openly accept it or not. We go through various stages in life where we test and try our beliefs which we have gathered through our life experiences so far. Sometimes we get accepted/rejected by ourselves and others. Instead of getting upset/happy, do we stop and think that why we are being accepted/rejected?

We fluctuate in our need for love and happiness on daily basis as well as throughout our lifetimes. Yes others can help us to feel good at times. However the ongoing feeling of love and happiness got to come from within us. To find that spot, we need to be aware of ourselves inside-out and self-reflection is a great tool to achieve that. If we are not aware of our own needs or should I say mood swings then how can we take care of ourselves? And if we can’t take care of ourselves then how can we be genuinely there for others whether it’s co-workers/teams; Family; friends; community? When we continue to ask questions like these and constantly look for answers, we take an additional steps towards accessing our great wisdom.

When we live mindfully, we refine our thoughts; behaviors and actions. We continue to work towards the ultimate goal of being happy, feeling it at the cellular level. When we reach this stage of being happy, we become pure; unattached and full of compassion! And then the real loving and giving begins. The more we give the more we become happier. “You want to be immediately happy, make someone happy” without any expectations – Dr. Deepak Chopra. Try it!!

After achieving the happiness stage, being happy becomes our nature. We become pure; our vibrations change; we attract more happy people around us and the happiness multiplies.

Originally happiness was not dependent on anything or anyone. We just need to go back to our original nature. Happiness is like that free floating particle/atom, for which we might not have a complete explanation but we know it’s there ~

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SAMHAJ’s Annual Picnic

SAMHAJ_Picnic

SAMHAJ is the South Asian Mental Health Association of New Jersey. Under the gracious leadership of Ms. Aruna Rao, for last 15 years it has been actively providing support, education and advocacy for South Asians affected by serious mental illness.

SAMHAJ provides:

  • “Support for families and individuals affected by mental illness through support groups, and referrals to bilingual and culturally competent mental health services. We offer a supportive environment to help you and your family to learn to navigate the often complicated mental health system. Our South Asian staff and volunteers speak Hindi, Kannada, Tamil, Gujarati, Konkani, and Marathi.
  • Professional guest speakers are invited to speak at educational workshops and lectures on issues that are important to your family’s journey towards recovery. Workshops cover subjects such as psychiatric medication, social security disability, rehabilitation and vocational training, coping with caregiver stress and anxiety, children’s mental health and many more topics.
  • Workshops for mental health providers, other social service agencies and schools seeking to learn more about the rapidly growing South Asian community in New Jersey in order to provide culturally competent services.”

Annual Picnic

SAMHAJ celebrates many events throughout the year. During the weekend of 8/2/15, SAMHAJ members came together to participate in the annual picnic in a serene park in East Brunswick. It was a beautiful day with the Sun shining; subtle wind blowing; trees dancing to the wind; birds chirping; and all of us catching up with each other under the clear blue sky and fresh air.

During the picnic we enjoyed Indo-American food; songs; quiz; games; jokes; mental health related information; and few wonderful experiences of members so far for the year 2015. Many new talented members joined us as well!

The whole group was a healthy combination of people in various age groups; members in recovery; care takers; professionals and well-wishers. The common denominator was the feeling of one big family in which all members are motivated to work towards the common cause to the best of their abilities.

I can’t help to think about the event in context of my favorite Yoga Philosophy and Neuroscience. I bet the vibrations (Yoga Philosophy) that were being released by everyone under the blue sky were powerful, positive and full of compassion! Going by the Neuroscience, I believe everybody was releasing the “happy chemicals” like Dopamine and Serotonin during those hours!!

Overall another stimulating and satisfying experience with SAMHAJ group. I am already looking forward to the SAMHAJ Holiday Party in October/November!!

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The Independence

Suruchi Saini, MA, LPC, NCC, CCTP

~Remembering the history; working in the present; hoping for the future~

 

Our independent collective-soul acquires a structure; our body

With our Karmas and thoughts; completes life journey

Goes through ups and downs, yet stands up again and again

Craves for perfection, yet accepts imperfection again and again

We make mistakes but learn to forgive ourselves too

We move on but remember the fondness of memories too

Sometimes the mind grieves but the soul strives

Sometimes the words hurt but the thought revives

When injured, we know how to look within

When ecstatic, we know how to let others join in

To rejuvenate the soul again

We need to connect our hearts and minds again

Connected minds illuminate the soul

Whether the soul is of a person, a nation or the universe as a whole!!