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Suruchi Saini, MA, LPC, CCTP, TMHP, CYT

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Anxiety

August 13, 2016 By Suruchi Saini

Nobody’s Perfect, and That’s Awesome!

According to Noah Webster, “perfectionism” is “a personal standard, attitude, or philosophy that demands perfection and rejects anything less.”

While not inaccurate, the dictionary definition does not convey the full depth of the word, its connotations both positive and negative.

In this two-part series, we will look at the different types of perfectionism, how they manifest, signs and symptoms of perfectionism, and how to cope with the consequences that can stem from negative perfectionism.

Is Perfectionism Good or Bad?

Perfectionism is considered by some to be an asset, a healthy motivational tool that helps people achieve success at the highest levels be it in the boardroom, on a Broadway stage, or on an Olympic track.

Conversely, it is deemed by others—including an increasing number of doctors, therapists, psychologists, and others in related fields—to be not only an impediment to success but a precursor to issues that can have wide-reaching effects on an individual.

More and more evidence is being documented that suggests a strong link between perfectionism and negative attitudes and behaviors. For example, after more than twenty years of research, practicing psychologist and University of British Columbia professor Paul Hewiit, PhD, and his colleague, professor of psychology at York University in Toronto Gordon Flett, PhD, have found that “perfectionism correlates with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and other mental health problems.”

They further argue that while there are different types of perfectionism, no form is without problems.

The Types of Perfectionism

Many researchers, like psychologist Kenneth Rice, PhD, who has written studies for the Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, believe there are two kinds of perfectionism: adaptive and maladaptive.

Adaptive perfectionism is considered to be “normal” and healthy, a trait where one gets satisfaction from achievements attained through hard work while allowing for the inevitable imperfections that accompany any activity. Adaptive perfectionism can also be viewed as positive perfectionism, in which the person is achievement oriented.

Maladaptive perfectionism is considered to be unhealthy, and is seen in someone who has high personal performance standards and the tendency to be highly self-critical. Furthermore, when something does not go according to plan, a maladaptive perfectionist is likely to develop negative thoughts and feelings. It can also be viewed as negative perfectionism, in which the person is driven by the fear of failure.

Hewitt and Flett believe that while “winning”—be it in sporting, academic, or business endeavors—is important to adaptive and maladaptive perfectionists, failing to do so is considerably more stressful for the latter than it is for the former.

Research shows that such stress can result in consequences such as low self-esteem, Anxiety, and Depression—sometimes so severe that the final result is suicide.

How Perfectionism Manifests Itself

Some perfectionists feel the need to be error-free because of perceived social pressures. They think others will value them only if they are perfect. If they fail to perform to that standard, they can become depressed and suicidal more easily than, say, people who are “other-oriented” perfectionists.

Other-oriented people are not without their struggles, though. What most often presents in them is the tendency to require perfection from their family members, friends, and colleagues. Intimate relationships in particular often suffer when at least one of the partners has this type of perfectionism.

Self-oriented perfectionists, for reasons that are still not entirely clear, are internally motivated to be perfect. People in this group can be fine in low-stress situations but can readily become anxious when serious issues arise. They often have mental health problems, particularly eating disorders and chronic stress.

The Problems with Perfectionism

For many perfectionists, life is a constant evaluation of their own accomplishments, looks, status, etc. It is often a surefire route to low self-worth and unhappiness. Perfectionists tend to have inner voices that call them lazy, useless, or not good enough when they fail to fulfill their standards, whether those standards are self-imposed or imposed by others.

Perfectionists can lead lives in which they’re regularly afraid of private shame or public humiliation for not meeting their own or other’s unrealistic expectations. Often, this can result in high Stress, Anxiety, Depression, and Anorexia in many female self-oriented perfectionists, and even suicide.

What’s Next?

The first steps to correcting a problem are accepting and understanding the problem. With the knowledge of what perfectionism is and how it can manifest in different ways, the next post will provide guidance for how to cope with perfectionist tendencies so that they do not lead to adverse mental and physical health issues.

Filed Under: Anger Management, Anxiety, Articles, Holistic Living, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Parenting, Relationships, Stress Management

June 19, 2016 By Suruchi Saini

How Music Affects the Brain – Part 2

The Mental Benefits

The role of music in one’s life is an important one. As noted in the most recent post, there are several emotional benefits to playing and listening to music, whether it’s bright and happy, slow and relaxed, or sometimes even somber.

And, since music engages every part of the brain, there are also numerous ways it mentally enhances us.

Handpicked Songs Increase Productivity

Hearing music, especially that selected by the listener, has been shown to boost performance in the workplace (as well as in the world of academia).

Studies have documented that office employees who choose their own music are likely to finish tasks faster and devise better solutions than their colleagues who are not allowed to listen to their preferred type of music.

Having Trouble Paying Attention?

A correlation has been made between listening to tranquil classics or relaxing music and an increase in the length and strength of concentration regardless of the listener’s age or ability level.

Although it has not yet been determined which kind of music is best, or what musical environment is required, a number of studies have noted the connection between music and attention span.

A Lesson in Music

Whether music is taught in school or at home, it can help students improve their test scores and language development as well as increase their spatial intelligence (understanding how things work together).

Learning music at an early age promotes brain plasticity (the brain’s capacity to change and grow), and children who study music have been shown to perform better in reading, math, and language arts than their non-musical peers. As few as four years of music lessons has been linked to increased brain functionality, even when tested forty years later.

A study conducted on babies who were not yet old enough to walk or talk revealed that those who listened to nursery rhymes and were shown how to play drums smiled more often and communicated better than infants who were not given music lessons.

How’s Your Memory?

Songs, especially those composed by Mozart, have the power to affect memory. A pattern of sixty beats per minute—which defines a considerable amount of baroque music—concurrently stimulates the left and right brain, an action that maximizes the retention of information. Furthermore, playing an instrument, and singing, simultaneously engages each side of the brain, allowing the brain to better process information.

Studies have shown that particular types of music are adept at helping listeners recall memories. Material learned while listening to a certain song can often be recalled simply by thinking of that song.

Does Age Matter?

Music has been shown to improve memory performance in people of all ages. The benefits of musical training at a young age are plentiful, and clear evidence exists that children who study music develop better memories than their peers who go without music lessons.

Perhaps more interesting, though, is that seniors who take up an instrument for the first time or who regularly sing and dance reap great psychological rewards. That’s because music has been shown to ward off memory problems and cognitive decline more than most other activities.

So now we know music can boost our spirits, increase our memory retention and recall, and helps us be more productive. In the third installment of this three-part series on how music affects the brain, we’ll explore the many physical benefits attributed to listening to and playing music.

Filed Under: Anxiety, Articles, Holistic Living, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Stress Management

June 5, 2016 By Suruchi Saini

How Music Affects the Brain – Part 1

Spring_2016The Emotional Benefits

“The Universal Language – Music”. Everyone (human beings; animals; plants) enjoys some form of music! Some of us might have forgotten this due to stress or busy lifestyle but we know when our favorite music plays, it changes our chemistry and affect our mood. So let’s give ourselves this permission to enjoy it for at least 15 minutes/day. Its meditational and uplifting!

Numerous studies have touted the myriad benefits of listening to music, an activity among few others that stimulates every known part of the brain. From boosting creativity to increasing exercise performance, music can be helpful in many ways.

Not all music is created equally, though, and if it’s too loud or jarring, it can be harmful. However, listening to—or better yet, playing—most music, at a moderate volume, is a great way to enhance your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

So what are some of the reasons it’s good to turn on the radio, pop in your headphones, or hit ‘play’ on your iTunes list?

In the first post of this three-part series on how music affects the brain, we’ll look at its emotional benefits.

Listening to music lights up the brain’s limbic system, which is associated with emotions. Therefore, it can—and does—greatly affect us on an emotional level.

Note the Chemical Change

It has been documented that listening to music increases the “feel-good” chemical dopamine, which is part of the pleasure-reward system.

In addition, hearing live music or playing music with others activates the production of oxytocin, which is the brain chemical that helps us form personal bonds. Some evidence suggests that a boost in oxytocin created from listening to music can result in a person being more generous and trustworthy.

Moreover, listening to and playing music often lowers the stress hormone cortisol. Slow, quiet, classical music is most proven to minimize stress on people of all ages, even infants.

Music is a Mood Enhancer

Many studies have documented that listening to music can not only reduce negative emotions, it can actually instill feelings of positivity. Upbeat, cheerful songs in particular seem to most effectively induce optimistic outlooks.

People all over the world can attest to music’s ability to lift their spirits, and modern research backs that up. The psychotherapeutic benefits are now well-substantiated, which means music can indeed help “heal the soul”.

Is Sad Music Helpful?

A recent study showed that participants were able to identify a neutral face as happy or sad based on the type of music they had just listened to. The ability to hear sad music and then consider someone to be sad can lead to listeners being more empathetic towards others.

Also, while it may seem counter-intuitive, listening to sad music can be cathartic. Somber songs can help people who are going through rough times get in touch with their emotions, which is a vital step in the healing process.

Music is more than a mere art—it’s a beneficial tool for our emotional health. To reap the most rewards for your emotional state, err on the side of bright, lively songs or slow, peaceful tunes rather than anything too raucous.

In the next post, we’ll look at how music affects us on a mental level.

Filed Under: Anxiety, Articles, Holistic Living, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Stress Management

May 22, 2016 By Suruchi Saini

Depression Among Teens

April 2016Although the majority of those in the U.S. who suffer from depression are men and women older than 18, the mental illness does affect teens.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), an estimated 2.8 million adolescents in the U.S. aged 12 to 17 had at least one major depressive episode in 2014. That number represented 11.4 percent of the U.S. population aged 12 to 17, with the illness affecting three times as many females in that age range than males in that age range.

What’s more staggering is that Mental Health America estimates that one in five teens suffers from clinical depression.

What Causes Teen Depression?

Teens can be negatively impacted by a number of social, psychological, and physical challenges they face on a daily basis. These may include peer pressure, changing hormone levels especially Dopamine, developing bodies, relationship issues at home /outside and pressure to perform well in school and in sports.

Many teens overreact if things don’t go their way, and they can easily feel like life is unfair. This can lead to feelings of confusion, frustration, and stress. Furthermore, teens in today’s society can be especially affected by what they see in the media and how they experience and interact with the media, which is more prevalent and comes in various forms now than at any other time in history.

What Does Depression in Teens Look Like?

Like many adults who are afflicted with depression, some teens can appear sad, gloomy, and despondent. More frequently, however, the main symptom among depressed teens is irritability, which can present itself in the form of hostility, grumpiness, anger, or violence.

Some indications that a teen may be depressed are poor performance in school, withdrawal from social activities, low self-esteem, lack of concentration, problems with authority, substance abuse, sexual promiscuity, and suicidal thoughts and actions.

Teen Suicide

Mental Health America states that each year, almost 5,000 people aged 15 to 24 kill themselves, a rate that has nearly tripled since 1960. Suicide is the third leading cause of death in adolescents.

Some studies suggest that four out of five teens who attempt suicide give overt warning signs ahead of time such as threatening to commit suicide, writing poems or stories that refer to death, getting rid of possessions, or behaving in irrational ways.

A note on antidepressants: while medication has been shown to help some people who suffer from depression, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) warns that people under the age of 25 “may experience an increase in suicidal thoughts or behavior when taking antidepressants, especially in the first few weeks after starting or when the dose is changed.”

How to Help Teens with Depression

When teens are depressed, there are a number of ways for them to find relief from the troublesome symptoms. To begin with, family members can present a platform on which teenagers feel comfortable in sharing their feelings and thoughts without feeling judged. Seek professional help early on to reduce the damage by making an appointment with a therapist and/or a psychiatrist. In addition, making new friends, participating in sports or other extracurricular activities, securing part-time employment, and volunteering are all avenues teens can explore to increase their self-esteem and self-worth, find meaning in life, and feel accepted.

Pay special attention on their diet, especially to their intake of water, and their vitamin D and Iron levels.

When depressed teens recognize that they need help to overcome their mental illness, they have taken the first step. It’s then up to family members, friends, teachers, and mentors to encourage them, support them and guide them in the right direction.

Again, please skim through my past Self Care posts to get few additional ideas!

Filed Under: Anxiety, Articles, Holistic Living, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Stress Management Tagged With: Depression

April 24, 2016 By Suruchi Saini

Depression Among Men

SpringDepression is one of the most prevalent mental disorders in the US, and it affects a large number of people regardless of their sex, ethnicity, religious beliefs, or socioeconomic status. Although the reasons people become depressed vary, research shows that the illness can be triggered by genes, hormonal changes, and environmental factors. Unhealthy microbiome plays significant role in having Depression symptoms and if it goes untreated, it can lead to fully blown Depression.

While more women than men suffer from depression, and it used to be thought of as a “woman’s disease”, it still disrupts the lives of roughly six million men each year. Unfortunately, men who are clinically depressed do not tend to admit to having a problem and therefore do not often seek treatment.

Why Are Men Underdiagnosed?

Much of society sees depression as a sign of weakness, a highly emotional issue, or a problem that can be fixed with ease and by choice. More so than women, men are inclined to deny that they are suffering from depression because they are “supposed to be strong”.

Furthermore, men often have difficulty accepting that depression is a serious mental illness and that it extends beyond merely feeling sad.

Finally, the symptoms of depression usually present differently in men than they do in women. Feeling emotional, which is largely evident in women with depression, is not seen as much in depressed men. Not knowing that there are other associated signs results in men not knowing they have depression.

What are the Symptoms of Male Depression?

Unlike women, men who are depressed are not very likely to acknowledge feelings of hopelessness, despair, and self-loathing. Instead, the common complaints among depressed men are:

  • Headaches
  • Digestive problems
  • Fatigue
  • Irritability

How do Men Deal with Depression?

The way in which men deal with depression differs from that of women. Men tend to seek distraction from their problems by using coping mechanisms. Some may be perceived as healthy, such as spending more time at work or on sports, whereas others such as drinking to excess, abusing drugs, and engaging in reckless behavior are decidedly unhealthy.

Such actions, coupled with the denial of having a mental illness as well as the subsequent decision to get treatment, can have dire consequences. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), men in the US are roughly four times more likely than women to complete suicide. Although women attempt suicide more often, men generally show fewer warning signs, act more quickly on suicidal thoughts, and use more lethal methods. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) finds that about 75 percent of suicides committed in the US are by men.

How Men with Depression Can Be Helped

To help men learn to identify and treat depression, it’s essential to understand not only why they suffer from it in the first place but also being mindful of the fact that society in general places high expectations on them to not discuss such problems—or even admit their issues to themselves. So what we can do?

To begin with, let’s create an atmosphere of understanding and ease in our homes and schools where boys feel equally comfortable in expressing themselves and their emotions; where they are not given a role of a man of the family at a young age; not told why are they getting emotional like girls; and most importantly where they understand that emotions are part of being human, and has nothing to do with any gender.

Also, to remind them that they can participate in few counseling sessions with their counselor to explore; brainstorm or learn coping skills regarding their situation and take steps to get better. This simple step can help them to continue to achieve their goals and be content in their lives with efficiency.

And of course you can go skim through my Self Care posts to get some ideas to begin with.

Is it doable? Absolutely!

Filed Under: Anxiety, Articles, Holistic Living, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Mindfulness, Neuroscience, Stress Management

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