Mindfulness

June 7, 2015 By Suruchi Saini

Wisdom of being the adult

I frequently meet new people due to the nature of my work. I love the uniqueness in them and how they are utilizing it to explore themselves, relationships, the world, and in some cases, to get by. Being unique does come handy most of the time.

When I think about uniqueness, two factors come to mind; the physical and mental parts.

1.The physical parts: their size, shape, color of eyes, type of hair, color of skin, the accent, the softness/harshness of voice, the speed of their movements/actions, and how they sit/stand, overall gestures.

2.The mental part: how they perceive the world, relate with others including nature, level of their self-awareness, especially their strengths and weaknesses. And that whether they know how they are using it to be a better human being, or not and then why not?

I have also come across many people who I feel are real gems but are stuck mentally in different developmental stage of their lives than where they should be, looking at their chronological stage. Living in this situation leads to internal and external chaos resulting in lack of clarity and overall stress.

Conflict between Mental and Chronological stage

From the people who were able to share their history, it gave me an insight that in any development stage where they went through a simple or multi-dimensional trauma and they didn’t receive any help on time, they got mentally stuck in that developmental state but kept growing chronologically.
I had heard about “feeling stuck” among friends, families, and colleagues many times but people usually stop their thoughts to this conclusion and keep on piling on stuff that life throws at them. From there on they start living superficially, and sooner or later it becomes their life style. Therapy helps, big time!

Mindfulness for crisis recovery

While actively using Mindfulness in sessions, I realized that it helps to empower the clients to be aware that on a subconscious or unconscious level, they are splitting between these mental and chronological stages. Recognizing this true nature of chaos helped many of my clients. They used this awareness, along with therapy to slowly raise themselves by keeping a reality check on their thoughts and behaviors.

It means to be able to recognize that in a particular situation, which mental stage they are operating from, especially if they are in crisis. As most of us know, we have a natural tendency to regress in crisis. Sometimes we are able to recover and sometimes we don’t.

In other words, this level of self-awareness with the help of Mindfulness may help anyone to be the adult that they claim to be!

May 31, 2015 By Suruchi Saini

Metaphors of Healing

On April 29th, 2015, I had an opportunity to represent Dr. Harish Malhotra, MD and talk about the importance of good Mental Health by using a Recovery Model. Dr. Malhotra is a great Psychiatrist and author of the books, “Metaphors of Healing” and “Pathways to Hope”.

We talked about the great Recovery Model that can come in handy while exploring and understanding what parts of our lives are doing well and what parts of our lives need some work, our strengths and weaknesses. It also gives a perspective to another person that when we make mistakes, that doesn’t make us the bad person; we just didn’t dig deeper in one of the dimensions. More importantly, if somebody makes a mistake, don’t dislike the whole person, just don’t accept the wrong behavior and if you have to, take a stand.

Sharing experiences

During the talk, a member in the audience mentioned that her partner is a Mental Health worker and that at times, “she comes to me for help when exhausted or emotionally burnt out”. “Is that okay, because I have my own mental health issues?” At that moment, I mentioned that it’s absolutely healthy to seek help when needed from family and friends.

However, it is also equally important to be aware of the support group/members’ strengths and weaknesses. For example, if in your support group, you have three people A, B, C and out of them A’s strength is financial matters. You encounter a problem and need emotional support. Will it be fair with yourself and with A to seek help from one another? You and A will end up getting frustrated, which will result in a strained relationship, when it could have easily been avoided. THINK!

During this event, the audience was a wonderful group of people who took time out of their busy schedules to share their journeys and to listen and participate in other people’s journeys. Every single person was an advocate or aspiring to be an advocate of well being with a special focus on Mental Health that evening. This evening reminded me of past group therapy sessions at Rutgers where I mentioned that every person who is seeking help is an advocate, not only for her/his mental health but also of her/his life.

Take care of yourself and then others

I believe when you take care of yourself, that doesn’t only help you, it helps your immediate family and friends. It also helps your community and on a macro level, the state, country, and the world. Yes, we are supposed to think on a macro level and work on the micro levels to achieve our goals.

Whatever we do, it contributes towards human involution and evolution!

When you take good care of yourself, whichever way that you can, you become the inspiring and aspiring drop in the pot (world) to fellow beings who will stay hydrated and afloat.

As a human being and a Mental Health professional with a Holistic approach, I am very grateful to you dear reader especially if you are taking good care of yourself or you are wanting or planning to do so.

Become that drop, keep filling the pot, and keep inspiring others!

May 24, 2015 By Suruchi Saini

To Teachers, with love and honor!

It was my honor to meet a big group of teachers and present, “Mindfulness with the help of Psychology, Neuroscience and Yoga Philosophy,” at one of the prestigious schools in Middlesex County in New Jersey during the month of November of 2014.

I clearly remember that afternoon. It was a nice sunny day, little bit chilly, and I entered the big parking lot of the school. I had the usual thoughts before beginning any presentation, until I started walking towards the main door.

Remembering my school days

While walking towards the door, I started feeling overwhelmed with the memories of my school days at Government Model High School, Sector 16 D, Chandigarh, India. In a flash of light everything came alive – the teachers, coaches, fellow students, playground, little canteen, water coolers, and parking lot. Basically, everything!

As I was about to enter the door, I thought about my teachers who motivated and supported me almost unconditionally, especially when I disagreed and couldn’t follow the instructions at times. Right there, I experienced and learned Compassion 101 outside of my home.

When I finally entered the door, I suddenly felt as if the air just travelled from Chandigarh to New Jersey. At that moment, my inner voice said, “Time to give back and share everything that you can in that one hour.” I believe I did as the presentation was well received!

Teacher’s going beyond their duties

That afternoon, this group of about 85 teachers, was there to make a serious attempt to learn about how the mind and brain chemistry can give them tools to manage emotions, improve focus, and be successful in disciplining children without making disciplining a punishing act or vice versa.

I honor these teachers for trying to make a difference in their students’ lives, not only through their subject of choice, but also through their compassion towards the students. Yes, I am fully aware of the fact that teaching has become more complicated over the years, yet this school wanted to go beyond their limitations to help the students as well as the teachers.

To some, it may appear that teaching doesn’t have so called “good returns.” The returns come in the form of respect, great memories, and the process of creating great minds whose creations influence the human race for generations. Research proved it; money doesn’t give happiness to a majority of people but respect, relationships, memories to cherish, and creativity does. Along with many others, I am grateful for my teachers.

I salute the leadership of this school for taking this much needed step. I hope other schools follow as well.

“ The Influence of a good teacher can never be erased”

May 19, 2015 By Suruchi Saini

My Experience at the NJCA 2015 Conference

Ah the Galaxy of mental health providers and educators on the planet reunited at the New Jersey Counseling Association (NJCA) conference for 2015 ! At the conference I was looking around and I realized that everybody was a star twinkling from within. They were spreading their light in their own unique way. The power of these stars not only gave light to others, but they also paved the way for aspiring counselors and educators. They get together at least once a year to celebrate their contribution and life!

Meeting up with my peers

Once again, I was there with my fellow counselors. The counselors come from all walks of life, different colors, and experiences. I got many opportunities to share and learn at the same time. It’s always satisfying to see the number of attendees increasing and above all, the enthusiasm steering in the right direction.

While attending presentations, every time I heard a story of great resilience or powerful humility, I got goosebumps and my heart began beating faster. Yes, even after being in this field for a decade, this hasn’t changed a bit. Occasionally, the stories of clients as well as counselors still bring tears of joy and sorrow.

It was an honor to meet women and men who have been tirelessly helping people for over three decades and still going strong. Their stories, words, thinking lines on the forehead, and smiling lines manifested their struggles as well as celebrations. What an inspiration!

“Holistic Living with Mindfulness and Neuroscience”

I presented on, “Holistic Living with Mindfulness and Neuroscience: Next Level Holistic Living.” The mind can heal the body, if we have the capability of understanding it appropriately. During the presentation, I felt the enthusiasm among the attendees and gratitude in my heart for having this opportunity to share what I have learned. Attendees actively contributed and were eager to learn. Most of us wished there would have been more time together. This will motivate me to go back in 2016 as well. It was a great experience!

Right after the presentation, a thought came to my mind; in the past 70 minutes, if that room would have turned into a high-tech Neuro-laboratory where I had a way to measure the brainwaves or the connections between everybody’s brains, I bet the room would have looked like a multi-level Laser show (without music). I could sense the positive vibrations.

It was an awesome experience and I am looking forward to the 2016 NJCA conference!!!

May 8, 2015 By Suruchi Saini

What is Mindfulness

Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; On purpose, in the present moment, and non judgmentally.”- Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn.

The quality or state of being conscious or aware of something. – Unknown

My definition of Mindfulness is making an effort to pay active attention to whatever you are doing. I feel Mindfulness is the key to overall contentment and happiness in life. After meeting many people in different countries, and from various cultures, I realized that the common wish that everybody holds dear to them is, “to be happy.”

And why not? All of us wish happiness for ourselves, for those near and dear to us including our pets. Some of us are able to think on a macro level and wish happiness for our neighbors, communities, and countries. However, the enlightened ones’ wish for happiness for all human beings regardless of geographical, mental, physical, and social boundaries.

Yes, we wish happiness for all and it’s a fair wish!

Pleasure vs. Happiness

How do we fulfill happiness? Should somebody appear and give us happiness as a gift?

I don’t think so. I am aware that there are few occasions in our lives such as receiving gifts, compliments, promotions, creating a family, buying a house, and overall acceptance, will give us great pleasure and enjoyment for a while.

However, these pleasures are short lived. Happiness is the internal state of mind that comes from within and

contrary to pleasure, is long term. We’ve got to work on it. The key is to be mindful of minds, bodies, and spirits of ourselves as well as others, and our functioning environments. Basically, the world we have created for ourselves.

Mind, Body, and Spirit

When I talk about Minds that means our thoughts, emotions, attention, and attitudes. Bodies means our sensations, chemicals, vitals, our responsibilities to its care and protection. Lastly, when I say Spirit that means our awareness, values, virtues, principles, compassion, kindness, morality, and much more.

All of these elements that our ancestors had, and we believe in, made it possible for us to make it to 2015. After such a long journey in progressing as a human race, working hard, sacrificing, and compromising, why aren’t we happy or content?

I feel the answer is lack of Mindfulness and a disconnection with ourselves. Most of the time, due to high stress and anxiety, we are on autopilot protecting our spirit (core) from getting hurt. Although we may have experiences with the potential for happiness, we are unable to identify them.

The benefits of practicing Mindfulness

Practicing Mindfulness really helps us reconnect and experience every moment of our lives. Instead of writing in simple points, I plan to share the benefits a little bit in depth and with few real life stories on a weekly basis.

Here is my favorite benefit for this week – To be present with yourself!

What does that mean? To reconnect with yourself honestly.

When you practice Mindfulness, you’ll be able to pay attention to what you are thinking, feeling, doing, responding (not reacting), when you are about to get upset or have panic attacks, when you are really happy, or just faking it. Additionally, there are higher chances that you’ll be aware of possible consequences of your thoughts, attitudes, and actions, whether it’s related with your life or that of others. You start tracking yourself first and eventually start making progressive changes!

Now that’s somewhat tough, isn’t it?

You may think, “I don’t want to go through all that” or, ” I don’t want to think about it.” This can be overwhelming at times. No worries, you can ask me questions. There are lots of self- help tools available online or you can start this process in collaboration with a professional near you. In the long term, learning Mindfulness will give you more confidence, self-control, ability to self-check, awareness of your mind, body, and spirit. It will be your key to overall happiness.

Remember, I am not talking about occasional sensory pleasures but long term happiness and a blissful state of mind. As for pleasures, I am sure you know how to get them. Happiness and contentment can be achieved with Mindfulness and some brain programing. If you are ready, I am ready to share.

I’ll be posting articles on my Blog so that at your leisure, you can read them, self reflect, and take action.

If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to write. I’ll mail you back or answer your questions on my videos.

Sending peace your way!